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MENU OF PERSONALITIES 5/5 (2)

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Personality of Marilyn Monroe				    	    	    	    	    	    	    	    	    	    	5/5							(2)

Personality of Marilyn Monroe 5/5 (2)

“Success makes so many people hate you. I wish it wasn’t that way. It would be wonderful to enjoy success without seeing envy in the eyes of those around you”

She was a woman that no one could resist her sensuality.  She was a dynamic sensual woman, full of charm – a woman who could be admired by men and envied by women, no matter where she went. She was an amazing woman with immense elegance who devoted time to her appearance, showed off her beauty while she could win the heart of people around her and charm them due to her innocence, her geniality and her affection.

She used to be a needy and aching little girl who went down as a sex symbol due to her glamorous style, her white complexion, her blond hair, her sexy way of talking to others with a voice that was a mixture of baby-talk and cat’s purr and a mole on the left side of her face. While most people knew Marilyn Monroe by her stage name, the star was actually born Norma Jeane Mortenson and baptized Norma Jeane Baker.

“Millions of people live their entire lives without finding themselves. But it is something I must do.”

Marilyn Monroe- A melancholic smile

Sometimes being dressed in a bustier with ostrich feathers and a huge shiny necklace or in a flamboyant outfit like a corduroy peddle-pusher suit or in her favorite white terry-cloth robe, she used to draw the attention of other people on her.  She was a woman who seemed to be fiery, confident and charismatic who could charm other people with her unpretentious nature and her melancholic gaze.

It was a deep gaze that had less to do with a showbiz star, with money and glamour, a constant smile that could perfectly conceal her deepest desires, the most tragic events of her life, the uncontrollable grief, the rejection and the melancholy she felt.

Besides, a proverb says “If a person laughs too much, even at stupid things, this person is lonely deep inside and suffers more.”

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”

Marilyn Monroe – Her difficult childhood

Norma Jean Baker, better known as Marilyn Monroe, experienced a disrupted, loveless childhood that included two years at an orphanage.

Marilyn Monroe kidThe life story of Marilyn Monroe was surrounded by mysteries, omissions, and misunderstandings, since her birth. Marilyn Monroe was born on June 01, 1926, at the Los Angeles County Hospital. She grew up in a quite peculiar family environment. The childhood of Marilyn Monroe cannot be called dull or careless. Because of the unstable mental health and financial instability of her mother, Norma spent the most of her childhood in orphanages and foster families.

When Norma Jean was seven years old, her mother, Gladys Baker Mortenson, was hospitalized after being diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic, a severe mental condition. So, since her father was absent and her mother was mentally unstable, Norma Jean was left in a series of foster homes and the Los Angeles Orphans’ Home Society. The constant move from one foster home to another resulted in Norma’s “sketchy” educational background. Marilyn had to lose her innocence and deal with the hardships of life.

She spent her childhood years being away from her real family and living with poor foster parents. Despite the fact that foster parents had treated in a decent way, these people had their own children too and this fact had an impact on the living conditions of the family, especially on the economic aspect of them.

When she was only seven years old, Marilyn, being a child placed in the care of a family, a foster child, she had to work as a cleaner and, later on, as a worker in a parachute factory in order to help her foster parents. The fact that she was rejected by her real parents was a big shock in her childhood; she never recovered from the damage of this rejection that had a negative impact on her life in the future.

“You know, most people really don’t know me.”

Marilyn Monroe – A child who has never been loved

Love! One word, thousands of feelings, thoughts, names, moments…! Every person has the right to love and be loved; it’s a feeling that is unquestionably priceless, especially for a child. Unfortunately, the fate of some children deals them a bad hand. There are children who grow up feeling that they are not the leading figures, the stars, in their own lives, but they end up playing the role of supporting figures, the role of background actors.  There are mothers who never stood by their children and fathers who treat their own children with hostility.

Marilyn was one of these children: neglected, abandoned, stranded, feeling as she was the bottom of the barrel, wilted, without maternal love, care and protection. Besides, what does a child ask for? A child needs someone who could be supportive and helpful. A child needs someone who could say “I love you”.

The lack of maternal love arose a wave of feelings of emptiness, had a negative impact on the healthy growth and it was the deciding factor for the choices she made in her life which are determined by the unstable love affairs and friendly relationships, her low self-esteem and her vulnerable mental condition.

Children, who grow up without love and care, also learn neither to appreciate and nor to respect themselves. They consider themselves as worthless people and they believe that they do not deserve being appreciated and loved by their immediate family and their inner circle.  So did Marilyn. Looking carefully her life and her behavior, we realize that her whole stance in life was due to the lack of parental love during her childhood.

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”

Marilyn Monroe, being a defenseless child

Marilyn Monroe early yearsMarilyn grew up without really knowing who her biological father was.  She had no father to help raise her, to protect her, or to love her. Though her birth certificate identifies her father as “Edward Mortenson,” who was Gladys’s second husband, most biographers agree that Norma Jeane’s father was actually C. Stanley Gifford who also worked at Consolidated Film Industries, but he abandoned Gladys after being told of her pregnancy.

When Marilyn was a teenager, she tried to speak with him by telephone but he hung up. Later on, Marilyn supposedly attempted tried to contact him again, this time in person. More than once, she tried to meet him but he refused to see her. A few years later, he was killed in a car accident.

So, Marilyn was completely rejected by her parents, without any psychological support and mental calm, showing signs of wrong upbringing and doing permanent and irreparable damage to her soul.

“I was never used to being happy, so that wasn’t something I ever took for granted. You see, I was brought up differently from the average American child because the average child is brought up expecting to be happy.”

A photo: her only hope…

The only thing Marilyn had from her father was a photo of him. However, for Marilyn, it was something more than a simple photo; it was a part of herself, a piece of her identity. She used to look at this photo, dreaming of how this man would be, if she took after him and what would happen if he had met her; would he change his mind about her? Would he love her? What was her fault? Why she did not deserve his love?

Marilyn Monroe was just a girl that all she wanted in life was love. She used to say: “That was my first happy time, finding my father’s picture. And every time I remembered how he smiled and how his hat was tipped I felt warm and not alone.” She was dreaming that this man in the photo would be waiting for her at home every time she was coming back from school, he would give her a big hug and he would kiss her. That was something that could make her happy. She loved something soulless and imaginary.

“Millions of people live their entire lives without finding themselves. But, it is something I must do.”

Mothers who do not want to love their children or mothers who cannot love their children?

On the other hand, her mother was paying money in order to be away from her… or this  was what Marilyn thought her mother was doing. It probably happened for the best since her mother was promiscuous as she was always switching between sexual partners who were not always a good example for a little girl or a teenager. She was an extremely attractive woman who lost control. Due to serious mental health issues, she lost her job and spent almost her entire life being in and out of psychiatric hospitals.

Marilyn was a girl who was rejected in every way. She ended up being in and out of orphanages, changing – nine times – the “family” environment she was placed in. Ending up in as foster family was the best thing she could get.

“We are all of us stars, and we deserve to twinkle.”

Marilyn Monroe and her relations with other people of her age

Being scruffy and untidy, dressed in plain clothes, made Marilyn look different from the other children of her age, especially during the school years when she was attached by her classmates.

She has never beaten someone up. She has neither insulted other people. As a matter of fact, she could not get away with it…  She was by herself and … they were too many of them!  She was bearing with them. She could not respond to their attacks; she could not backlash. She had to live with the fact that she would be beset by these people as she did not want to let other people down, especially the ones in her life, like her foster parents.

Without her parents, without any friends, she was trapped in a vicious circle and she could not put everything behind her and get on in life.

“I am trying to find myself. Sometimes that’s not easy.”

Marilyn’s good looks being considered as a curse and a blessing as well

She was fully grown, in appearance, compared with the girls of her age; she was more feminine. When she was nine years old, she was sexually abused by her foster father. This tragic event left her insecure about herself making her hate her own body.

Beautiful Marilyn MonroeDuring adolescence, Marilyn realized that boys and girls were looking at her differently. She  was flattered being noticed by the opposite sex. However, certain obscene words, such as “slut” or “lush” could be heard against her in the schoolyard. She used to say that there were “girls frightened of losing her boyfriends because I was more attractive!”

Despite the obscene words against her by girls of her age, something changed inside her, lending her an air of self-confidence and self-respect. She felt as if there were two people trapped inside a body. “I was felt fool full of a strange feeling, as if I were two people. One of them was Norma Jean from the orphanage who belonged to nobody. The other was someone whose name I didn’t know. But she belonged to the ocean and the sky and the whole world.”

Suddenly, the humble little girl of next door, who was invisible and unobtrusive, was in the eye of things being admired by everyone. Suddenly, the little orphan with a mole on the right cheek had a name and an identity. Is it really what she wanted? At that moment she believed so, even though deep inside she was still a child…

“It’s better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone – so far.”

Marilyn Monroe and her relationship with God

Marilyn hung in; she was not discouraged. She was always trying to find encouragement, to be given a hand. Besides the photo of her father which was hidden in her room, taking precious care of it and cherishing it like treasure, God had a significant role in her life. Everyone in her backyard was talking about God:

“Nearly everybody I knew talked about God. My best friend and Aunt Grace touched my cheek and said that HE loved me and watched over me. Remembering what Grace had said I lay in bed at night crying to myself. The only One who loved me and watched over me was Someone I couldn’t see or hear or touch. So I used to draw picture of God.”

Nevertheless, she believed in someone she could neither touch nor see. She was drawing pictures where God, as she was visualizing him, was the leading character and she was feeling close to someone loved her as she was, despite her feelings, her thoughts…  She was feeling close to someone who could embrace her and protect her. That was what she was told about God.

“Someday I want to have children and give them all the love I never had.”

The consequences of rejection

Could a photo and some drawings suffice to relieve her pain and sorrow? Definitely, not! Since Marilyn was a child, she felt that she was different from other girls; she was never been loved and she started to love hope that there is love.

She tried to fill the emotional void she experienced during the first years of her life with wrong relationships, with drinking or substances, or even with different lovers. She was always looking for reassurance by others being based on her beauty, her abilities and on success.

The lack of the reassurance that Marilyn was trying to get from her parents, without any response, in order to be strong enough and build a healthy personality, made her feel insecure and she was feeling overwhelmed by grief to a point where her everyday life was affected.

On that issue, she pointed out that: it was a while I lay on this ocean bottom, figuring never to see daylight again, that I fell in love for the first time. I’d not only ever been in love, but I hadn’t ever dreamed of it. It was something that existed for other people – people who had families and home. But when I lay on this ocean bottom it hit me, hoisted me into the air, and stood me on my feet looking at the world as if I’d just been born.”

Besides that, her desire to be taken care of and the lack of being taken care of made her have bad feelings. She had thought to hurt herself, thinking that she did not deserve being a child, she did not deserve being happy, she did not deserve being alive or living… She believed or other people made her believe that this was the case… She had suicidal thoughts which were more and more intense over the time. However, something stopped her from committing suicide. Was it the mystery man in the photo or God that prevented her from committing suicide?

“We should all start to live before we get too old.”

Marilyn Monroe – a girl with big dreams…

There were, however, moments of joy and happiness in her life … However sad it sounded, there were moments of joy and happiness TOO, while every child, every human being, should only be surrounded and overwhelmed by this feeling.

Marilyn Monroe Big DreamsMarilyn was a smart child. Her IQ was reaching to 168; we would say that she was a genius. She liked music, dancing and acting. She was dreaming to be a great actress who could grow into being recognized and admired by everyone. She was right and that was what happened, one way or another. The years were passing by and Marilyn was growing into being a beautiful young woman who was learning to live through life’s difficulties. Nevertheless, rejection and lack of love were forever stamped on her soul.

Early on in her life, she seemed to be very assertive and tough young woman. She could not take pity on any other person and she did not let anyone approach her. Even a light touching, a tickling, of her best friend was something strange to her. In the same way she wore her clothes in the morning, she put this fake smile on her lips starting her day.

“Sometimes I feel my whole life has been one big rejection.”

What is love?

As we pointed out above, when Norma Jeane Baker was 8 years old, she saw a picture of her father for the first time. This photo became a totem for her — a symbol of the fatherly love she would spend her life desperately, but fruitlessly, seeking, even after she became the world’s most glamorous movie star, Marilyn Monroe.

  At age 8, for the first time, Marilyn felt a strange and beautiful feeling that grown-ups called love. Was she in love for the first time or just a joy due to the fact that someone was caring about her? Neither did she know exactly what she felt. Whatever it was, it seemed that something aroused her feelings.

Later, at age 15, she was forced to marry, for a first time, to an eligible 20-year-old man named Jimmy Daugherty. She wasn’t in love with him when they first maried and truthfully, the same can be said about him. They may have grown to care for each other but sexual chemistry (certainly for Marilyn) and romantic love were absent in this marriage.

They did not talk to each other.  They did not have many things in common. He used to play cards and she used to go outside to play with the neighborhood children. However, marriage to Dougherty was preferable to returning to the orphanage and that determined her status as a married woman instead of an orphan. After a while, she filed for divorce. Later on, she got married to the baseball player Joe DiMaggio for a nine-month period and, after their divorce, she got married to the famous playwright Arthur Miller.

Was she in love? She believed so, when she met a tall man who was wearing glasses. He was not one of her showbiz’s acquaintances or one of those who wanted others see him at her side.  He was just a musician who, being unsophisticated, unpretentious and optimistic, managed to change her way of thinking.

For the first time in her life, Marilyn felt she found the remedy, the cure, to heal the trauma she experienced over the years and reclaim her life. When she met him, she realized why she was so unhappy, so miserable in her life: she imagined herself as someone who did not deserve to be loved, as if she had an unloving heart. She had never loved herself; how could she ask from others to love her??

“I like to feel blonde all over.”

The need to rebuild her life

Marilyn had pledged to provide her own child anything she was deprived of when she would have her own child. She would protect her child, support it, stand by it and solve any problems that were never been solved for her.

She would do all that without lying. She would do all that without lying for Santa, or for the kindness of other people helping one another. She would teach her child to stand on its own feet, to rise to the occasion, to wisely deal with any difficulties of life, always with the help and love of its mother.

“I am alone; I am always alone no matter what.”

The rising and the fall of a shining star

At age 19, Marilyn Monroe finally took a step forward in order to fulfill her dream. After having moved to Hollywood, she started her modeling career. As a model, she posed for the most eminent photographers. Although her finances were not so good, her smile was real. She did not care about money. The only thing worth working for was being a successful actor who could attract more and more attention, especially for her talent.

Marilyn Monroe angelSoon, working for companies such as the magazine Photoplay και the Twentieth Century Fox was the next professional step in her career.

In 1954, she got married to a baseball player, Joe Di Maggio, who was different than other men. He wasn’t handsome.  He was lanky and spindly. He didn’t walk, he lumbered. He did not try to impress others. He didn’t like her career as he thought women should be at home as he wanted his wife to raise their children, to cook and clean, and it had always been that way in the DiMaggio family.  Nevertheless, he wanted his wife be modest and elegant. He wanted her be a traditional, stay-at-home housewife. He was against publicity and Maril

 

yn tried to change her style for his sake in order to please him, wearing long dresses and high neck clothes. Despite her efforts, Joe was getting insanely jealous of every man that Monroe met and began to beat her. Even then, she could not settle in this way of life. Marilyn lost her patience after nine months of their marriage, and in the same year, the couple divorced.

“It’s often just enough to be with someone. I don’t need to touch them. Not even talk. A feeling passes between you both. You ‘re not alone.”

Since her divorce from Joe, her life was dominated by the curse of loneliness. She was alone, even in a colourful city of millions of people.

Marilyn Monroe featured in B movies and later on she starred in movies such as All about Eve (1950), Niagara (1953) and Gentlemen prefer blondes (1953) launching her as a sex symbol superstar. In 1955, she starred in The seven year itch and after this film she wanted serious acting to replace the sexpot image and she decided to go to New York’s Actors Studio for acting seminars.  Then, she created her own studio, Marilyn Monroe Productions, and she worked one more time with Twentieth Century Fox.

Marilyn Monroe got married for a third time with the famous playwright Arthur Miller. They made together films such as The Prince and the Showgirl, Some Like It Hot and The Misfits which proved to be the final film for the legendary Clark Gable, who died later that year of a heart attack. The film was popular with critics and the public alike.

 In 1961, Marilyn Monroe and Arthur Miller were separated, soon after less than around 5 years of relationship.

“Dreaming about being an actress, is more exciting then being one.”

The dirty life of Hollywood

Being a young, blond, charming and feminine woman, she got in touch with companies looking for such ladies, either as models or for posing for naked photos in calendars, or for short roles in movies.  Marilyn Monroe did not miss any opportunity, moving slowly to the top in showbiz.

However, there were strange and smutty rendezvous with photographers, screenwriters, and directors of companies who tried to seduce her and tempt her in exchange for her body or even marriage with her. The smutty approaches and sexual advances had little to do with what Marilyn thought Hollywood was. Values and talent had no significance, only the appearance had some significance.

“A sex symbol becomes a thing. I just hate to be a thing.”

Marilyn Monroe – A woman under pressure and criticism

Marlyn Monroe criticismShe did not care about money; she did not care about sex either. She wanted to get as much money as she needed to live. What was essential for Monroe was to become an even better actress, to learn things, to change, to improve her talent and acting. By reading books and by attending acting, dancing and singings courses and seminars, she thought she would one day get at the top because of her talent and not because of her appearance.  Did she deserve to be among such great personalities? What did her personality look like? Who was she?  She thought that no matter what she did, she was hot satisfied with her work; on the contrary, she was hard and critical to herself.

Any dismissal could make her doubt about herself and her unsuccessful attempts and failures as an actress were a serious blow to her already damaged personality.

“The body is meant to be seen, not all covered up.”

Marilyn Monroe – a woman in scandals

To some, Marilyn Monroe was a goddess. To others, she was little more than a bimbo. But deep down, Marilyn was a desperate woman trying to escape the tragedy of her childhood. She built a career like no actress before her, thriving on scandals… until they would eventually overwhelm and destroy her.

Τhe fight against alcohol

At nights, before going to bed, she used to take a bottle of whiskey with her.  She was taking comfort in it and it was helping her to forget everything she had gone through: pain, distress, grief, sorrow and whinge. Drinking was just the beginning as after that there were other harmful substances that were helping her come out of the vicious circle she was trapped in but they were creating more and more mental and physical problems. The substance abuse could not be hidden for a long time.

“It is wonderful to have someone praise you, to be desired.”

Love affair stories

Marilyn Monroe scandalsMarilyn Monroe, without a doubt, had a long history of terrible relationships. Many blame the men she happened to choose, while others blame Marilyn herself, but in the end, she took a hard hit by love. She definitely was a troubled individual, so a lifetime of depression and unwanted emotions was inevitable.

Marilyn became the most known sex symbol in the country and even the president of the United States couldn’t resist her. In 1962, dressed in a sheer, flesh-coloured, rhinestone dress and having a playful look, Marilyn appeared before President John F. Kennedy at Madison Square Garden singing “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”. Her look, her body position and her breathy, sensuous voice made other people think that these two people had an affair. She also had an affair with JFK’s brother, Robert Kennedy.

There were rumors that Robert Kennedy was brought in to deflect Marilyn’s attention away from his brother – also rumors that shortly before her death she was pregnant with his child.  It was presumed that Marilyn was too much of a risk to the Kennedy name and so was phased out of the president’s life.  Yet is there any truth to these rumors? She neither confirmed nor denied these rumors…

“If I’m a star, then the people made me a star.”

Mr. Perfect for Marilyn Monroe…

Like all the girls of her age, Marilyn imagined the prince of her dreams and the man who could make her happy. Even in choosing the perfect mate for her, Marilyn made the difference.

She never liked men in good teeth. Does it seem strange to you? While most of people concentrate on a beautiful smile and good teeth, she thought that a shiny smile would be repulsive for her…

There was an explanation for her stance on this issue. She had a firm belief that a man with perfect teeth would not have a perfect character. She believed that these men who focus on physical appearance and perfection, giving emphasis to something that is noticed at a glance, so that they can hide their inner imperfections. Marilyn was so confident that this was a case that she consciously rejected this type of men.

She had even noticed that people wearing glamorous clothes and having a stylized smile could automatically turn into great people. How important they really were, she’d often noticed it at the party they were invited to. Then, she could realize that that the stars she had worshiped as a child were not always so perfect with exceptional personalities, but they were colorless, or even frightened, timorous and daunted.

“I learned to walk as a baby, and I haven’t had a lesson since.”

Moreover, she preferred dealing with men who were ‘hunters’. These men know what they want; they focus their eyes on women and they do all they can, sparing no effort in order to keep the woman who have at their side. Was this attitude selfish? Was it just a way of dealing with her, something that no one did in the past?

Marilyn Monroe happinessMoreover, Marilyn used to give preference to reserved, close-mouthed, modest and low-profile men. She believed they were more polite and gentlemen, they were almost never angry, and they did not criticize their wives. In the past, she used to hang about with people who were talking about themselves, their cleverness and money and sex were on their minds. When she was asked once “Which would you rather marry – a poor boy you loved or a rich man you liked?” she answered that money did not matter. Real happiness lies in love.  And love is everywhere; love is rare and unique.

She had said once: “The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space.”

“I have always had a talent for irritating women since I was fourteen.”

Marilyn Monroe and other women

Marilyn had an unconventional connection with the female sex. It was a story of love and hate.  She believed in women’s power and in the crafty mind of a woman, but she did not believe in friendship among women. Friendship among women is based on lies and “superficial” words and women try to beat or undermine one another.

Anyway, as regards Marilyn, there were women who worshiped her and women who hated her. These women hated her, not for her bad or mean character but because she was really standing out. She was dressed in a different manner; she was talking in a distinctive, accented and characteristic way and that was something that was perceived by all, women and men. As far as the women were concerned, Marilyn was a moving threat.

On the other hand, there were women who worshiped her. She admired women too besides the fact that there were certain women who were biased against her.

She loved women and, while she was reading certain books on acting, she run into the word “lesbian” and she asked herself if she had anything to do with it.

Over the years, she realized that besides the “sex symbol” title that was granted to her by millions of men worldwide, she was not comfortable with men and she was not sexually satisfied by men.

“Respect is one of life’s greatest treasures. I mean, what does it all add up to if you don’t have that?”

She started to experiment sexually with individuals of the same sex. There were scandals as Marilyn admitted to sexual encounters with big showbiz name such as the actresses Joan Crawford, Barbara Stanwyck, Marlene Dietrich and Elizabeth Taylor, as well as with both her acting coaches, Natasha Lytess and Paula Strasberg.

The trauma of being rejected and not being loved throughout her childhood is reflected in Marilyn’s sexual orientation. Not knowing who she really is and what she really wants in life, she felt a desire to discover her real identity.  In Marilyn Monroe’s case, the need to discover her real identity and a craving for affection which was probably developed early on in life as she was moved around from foster parent to foster parent has brought her to a pass that made her not to enjoy her sex life with men and have relationships and sexual encounters with older individuals of the same sex in order to feel the affection she never had from her own mother.

“A career is born in public – talent in privacy.”

Marilyn Monroe: a two-faced woman

Despite the fact that she had a life in luxury and wealth, Marilyn was looking back on all the times she shared with her aunt queuing up for free food for hours and thinking about all these poor people who accommodated her from time to time.

She could remember the sounds and smells of poverty, the struggle and the difficult times and the willingness to fight for themselves in the look of the people she lived with.

 She could look back on a little girl whose name was Norma Jeane Mortenson and was wearing once the orphanage uniform; she could look back on this little girl who as walking for miles, in the rain or in the snow just because she did not have any money to buy a bus ticket.

Now, she had a lot of money and “friends” and she lost count and she lost control…

She was a two-faced woman, a woman living two lives into one soul as by changing her name she changed her life as well. No one remembers a little reserved, introverted girl whose name was Norma. Everyone admires Marilyn, who is seemingly dynamic, who attends the parties where all celebrities go in, who falls in love and flirts with other people. She was now known as an “offbeat” personality.

“I’ve been on a calendar, but I’ve never been on time.”

Shaping “Marilyn’s” personality

Over the years, something had changed inside her… She was admiring what other people used to admire on her: her nice body, her beautiful eyes, her blond hair, the mole on her cheek. Nevertheless, she had an intangible feeling that something was wrong.  Money meant nothing to her; friendships were insincere, fake, superficial… But the most important thing was that she could not express herself as she wanted, she could not do everything she could; she could not do her utmost to achieve her goals…

Her life was not complete; something was missing… She was very well aware of what was missing but she did not know how she could get it… Instead of being happy, she was depressed and desperate…

“Fame is like caviar, you know – it’s good to have caviar but not when you have it at every meal.”

She used to be a little girl deprived of love and her parents were emotionally unavailable. She was growing up with emotionally detached parents and she turned into a woman lacking self-confidence, trust, unable to set limits, unable to find her own identity and highly sensitive.

She was afraid. She was afraid to talk about her past, she was afraid to show what she really was. However, it was really jumping out at her that she was different from any other woman and she is unforgettable to this day. What were the strong features in her personality?

  • Her innocence
  • her honesty
  • her capricious or fanciful quality
  • her kindness
  • her mistakes
  • her tough childhood have never failed to catch people’s attention.

These elements made her perfectly imperfect personality that was not reaching superficial glamour and perfection.  As she pointed out in the book entitled «A Life of the Actress», in 1993: “When you’re famous you kind of run into human nature in a raw kind of way. It stirs up envy, fame does. People you run into feel that, well, who does she think she is, Marilyn Monroe? They feel fame gives them some kind of privilege to walk up to you and say anything to you, of any kind of nature — and it won’t hurt your feelings — like it’s happening to your clothes not you.”

Marilyn was a very generous and loving girl; she was spending many hours in health care institutions, group homes and charities giving money for the people in need and offering her affection and love to the kids with mental problems. She offered her love even though she was deprived of that…

“Hollywood is a place where they‘ll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul.”

What were the weak features in her personality?

Marilyn Monroe personalityMarilyn had bad social habits. She was always late and she used to stand other people up, even for one or two hours. The reason was not that she was spending more time in order to get ready for her meeting but she was doing that on purpose.

Absurdly, she was tickled to let other people waiting for her as she thought that it was great that people were waiting for her in order to meet her. It was exciting for her that people could spend hours somewhere in order to be with her for a few minutes… That was not the case when she was Norma. Not even her mother was willing to see her, to spend some time with her… Marilyn seemed to give vent to her frustrations of her childhood throughout her adult life…

However, that was not unnoticed by other people. They used to misunderstand her behavior as they thought that she wanted to make a grand entrance in a way that could make people notice her. It could be right but Norma wanted to feel that and Marilyn owed that to her…

“Fame doesn’t fulfill you. It warms you a bit, but that warmth is temporary.”

What were the most peculiar things about Marilyn Monroe

  • She used to refer to “Marilyn Monroe” in the third person mode. She used to add at the end of a phrase “Marilyn would say that.” She did that because she could never identify herself entirely with the personality of Marilyn. She probably did not want to…
  • She could never learn her lines by heart and she used to improvise…
  • She probably is the only person who changed so many names throughout her life. She was baptized Norma Jeane Baker, but the name on her birth certificate was Norma Jeane Mortenson. Later, when she married James Dougherty, she became Norma Jeane Dougherty. She used to sign papers as Jean Norman or Mona Monroe, she used to stay at hotels as Zelda Zonk and she was hospitalized as Faye Miller. The star didn’t change her name legally to Marilyn Monroe until 1956. When she married playwright Arthur Miller she liked to be called Marilyn Monroe Miller.
  • Marilyn married her second husband, baseball star Joe DiMaggio, in January 1954. She asked Joe to promise to leave flowers on her grave every week if she died before him. He later kept his promise. DiMaggio had roses delivered to her grave three times a week for 20 years.
  • She chose “Marilyn” by herself as she thought that she resembled an actress, Marilyn Miller, who died at the age of 37, before her time; Marilyn died at the age of 36. Was it something that happened by chance?
  • Marilyn did not have any children; her attempts to have a baby ended up in many miscarriages.
  • I’m sure you have heard of the song by Marilyn Monroe, “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend” and by hearing this song you would think that Marilyn Monroe owned a lot of expensive diamond jewelry; actually that was not the case at all. She owned very little valuable jewelry. She did not like jewelry, especially diamonds. She avoided wearing jewelry and this was the reason she was buried without any jewelry…

“An actress is not a machine, but they treat you like a machine. A money machine.”

The unfair death of a tragic woman

Marilyn Monroe rising star“I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love.”- Marilyn Monroe

That was one of the most loved and true quotes of Marilyn.

In the early 1960s, her health began to deteriorate. She had alcohol abuse and drug addiction problems and she suffered from depression. Her substance abuse problems were the cause of her death at the age of 36.

On August 5, 1962, Marilyn Monroe was found dead in the bedroom of her Brentwood home of a barbiturate overdose. At least, that was the official statement of the police. However, there are several conspiracy theories about why and how she died.  Her rumored close ties to the Kennedy family play a large role in these theories, along with Monroe’s history of mental illness and drug abuse. Anyway, there were several men connected with her one way or another: Robert F. Kennedy, John F Kennedy, labor union leader Jimmy Hoffa, Chicago mob boss Sam Giancana, the FBI, the CIA, or her psychiatrist Ralph Greenson. Her death was put down to “probable suicide” caused by a “self-administered overdose of sedative drugs”. That was all…

“What good am I? I can’t have kids. I can’t cook. I’ve been divorced three times. Who would want me?”

The movie scene and the publicity could never replace the love she was looking for. The filmgoers and the fans could not fill the gaps from her childhood. She spent a lifetime in superficial relationships, being alone, idolizing money… She spent a lifetime in a consumer society where people were viewed as expendable.

“The Most Advertised Girl in the World” died whinging for not having been loved, hugged and kissed by people who had real feelings for her. That was the most typical figure of a person in despair. She was a woman athirst for life. She was a girl who lived the American dream; being born into a lower class, she attained a happy way of living, reaching the top, as she was always dreaming. The substance of this dream was full of grief and she did not bring any peace, quiet and happiness in her soul…

“Beneath the makeup and behind the smile I am just a girl who wishes for the world.” Marilyn Monroe, born Norma Jeane Mortenson, spent her childhood in various foster homes subject to abuse and neglect. From foster kid, to factory worker, to model, then to Hollywood sex symbol and actress Marilyn was the epitome of the American Dream. She displayed the perfect Cinderella story reinstating that the American dream was ultimately to go from poverty and have a fresh start as someone more successful with a generally better life. However, she ended up dead under strange conditions and the American dream turned out into a nightmare for her…

Quotes of Marilyn Monroe

See the best collection of Marilyn Monroe’s quotes by clicking on this link:

Marilyn Monroe Quotes Collection

This was an analysis of Marilyn Monroe’s personality and life. If you want to find out which personality you belong to or what kind of Motto suits you, click on the link below:

Motto Personality Test by Motto Cosmos

Get inspired from Marilyn Monroe’s most important quotes:

I am good, but not n angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love.
Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.
Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world.
I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I’m out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as well don’t deserve me at my best.
Success makes so many people hate you. I wish it wasn’t that way. It would be wonderful to enjoy success without seeing envy in the eyes of those around you.
I restore myself when I’m alone.
We are all of us stars, and we deserve to twinkle.
The real lover is the man who can thrill you just by touching your head or smiling into your eyes – or just by staring into space.
Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature.
If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.
Experts on romance say for a happy marriage there has to be more than a passionate love. For a lasting union, they insist, there must be a genuine liking for each other. Which, in my book, is a good definition for friendship.
Fear is stupid. So are regrets.
I am trying to find myself. Sometimes that’s not easy.
It’s better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone – so far.
Someday I want to have children and give them all the love I never had.
A woman knows by intuition, or instinct, what is best for herself.
A smart girl leaves before she is left.
Beauty and femininity are ageless and can’t be contrived, and glamour, although the manufacturers won’t like this, cannot be manufactured. Not real glamour; it’s based on femininity.
I don’t mind living in a man’s world as long as I can be a woman in it.
We should all start to live before we get too old.
Fame is like caviar, you know – it’s good to have caviar but not when you have it at every meal.
I think that sexuality is only attractive when it’s natural and spontaneous.
Hollywood is a place where they ‘ll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul.
Fame doesn’t fulfill you. It warms you a bit, but that warmth is temporary.
Dogs never bite me – just humans.
One of the best things that ever happened to me is that I’m a woman, That is the way all females should feel.
A strong man doesn’t have to be dominant toward a woman. He doesn’t match his strength against a woman weak with love for him. He matches it against the world.
Sometimes I feel my whoe life has been one big rejection.
I know I will never be happy, but I know I can be gay!
I defy gravity.
I have always had a talent for irritating women since I was fourteen.
Friends accept you the way you are.
Sometimes I’ve been to a party where no one spoke to me for a whole evening. The men, frightened by ther wives or sweeties, would give me a wide berth. And the ladies would gang up in a corner to discuss my dangerous character.
Respect is one of life’s greatest treasures. I mean, what does it all add up to if you don’t have that?
I remember when I was in high school I didn’t have a new dress for each special occasion. The girls would bring the fact to my attention, not always too delicately. The boys, however, never bothered with the subject. They were my friends, not because of the size of my wardrobe but because they liked me.
Millions of people live their entire lives without finding themselves. But it is something I must do.
I don’t know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot.
Sometimes, wearing a scarf and a polo coat and no makeup and with a certain attitude of walking, I go shopping or just look at people living. But then, you know, there will be a few teenagers who are kind of sharp, and they’ll say, ‘hey just a minute. You know who I think that is?’. And they’ll start tailing me. And I don’t mind.
What do I wear in bed? Why, chanel No. 5, of course.
Naturally, there are times when every woman likes to be flattered.. to feel she is the most important thing in someone’s world. Only a man can paint this picture.
You know, most people really don’t know me.
The truth is, I’ve never fooled anyone. I’ve let men sometimes fool themselves.
Designers want me to dress like spring, in billowing things. I don’t feel like spring. I feel like a warm red autumn.
If I’d observed all the rules, I’d never have got anywhere.
I was honoured when they asked me to appear at the president’s birthday rally in Madison Square Garden. There was like a hush over the whole place when I came on to sing ‘happy birthday’, ‘like if I had been wearing a slip, I would have thought it was showing or something. I thought, ‘oh, my Gosh, what if no sound comes out!’
A career is born in public – talent in privacy.
If you spend your life competing with business men, what do you have? A bank account and ulcers!
I don’t know if high society is different in other cities, but in hollywood, important people can’t stand to be invited someplace that isn’t full of other important people. They don’t mind a few unfamous people being present because they make good listeners.
When clark gable died, I cried for 2 days straight. I couldn’t eat or sleep.
Marriage destroyed my relationship with two wonderful men.
I’ve been on a calendar, but I’ve never been on time.
It’s all make believe, isn’t it?
Nothing’s ever easy as long as you go on living.
I have too many fantasies to be a housewife. I guess I am a fantasy.
I don’t mind making jokes, but I don’t want to look like one.
If there is only one thing in my life that I am proud of, it’s that I’ve never been a kept woman.
What good is it being Marilyn Monroe? Why can’t I just be an ordinary woman?
I used to think as I looked out on the hollywood night, ‘there must be thousands of girls sitting alone like me dreaming of being a movie star. ‘But I’m not going to worry about them. I’m dreaming the hardest.
I don’t want everybody to see exaclty where I live, what my sofa or my fireplace looks like.
What’s the good of drawing in the next breath if all you do is let it out and draw in another?
There are many times when a woman will ask another girl friend how she likes her new hat. She will reply ‘fine’, but slap her hand to her forehead the minute the girl leaves to yipe, ‘what a horror’.
A man makes you feel important – makes you glad you are a woman.
I  want to grow old without facelifts. I want to have the courage to be loyal to the face I have made.
There was my name up in lights. I said, ‘God, somebody’s made a mistake.’ But there it was, in lights. And I sat there and said, ‘remember, you ‘re not a star. ‘Yet there it was up in lights.
I never wanted to be Marilyn – it just happened. Marilyn’s like a veil I wear over Norma Jeane.
Some of my foster families used to send me to the movies to get me out of the house and there I’d sit all day and way into the night. Up in front, there with the screen so big, a little kid all alone, and I loved it. I loves anything that moved up there and I didn’t miss anything that happened and there was no popcorn either.
Sometimes I think it would be easier to avoid old age, to die young, but then you ‘d never complete your life, would you? You’d never wholly know you.
I always have a full – length mirror next to the camera when I’m doing publicity stills. That way, I know how I look.
To put it bluntly, I seem to have a whole superstructure with no foundation. But I’m working on the foundeation.
I have feelings too. I am still human. All I want is to be loved, for myself and for my talent.
What I really want to say: That what the world really needs is a real feeling of kinship. Everybody: stars, laborers, negroes, jews, arabs. We are all brothers.
I like actors very much, but to marry one would be like marrying your brother. You look too much alike in the mirror.
I think one of the basic reasons men make good friends is that they can make up their minds quickly.
I was brought up differently than the average American child because the average child is brought up expecting to be happy.
I knew I belonged to the public and to the world, not because I was talented or even beautiful, but because I had never belonged to anything or anyone else.
There isn’t anybody that looks like me without clothes on.
Being a sex symbol is a heavy load to carry, especially when one is tired, hurt and bewildered.
I don’t consider myself an intellectual. And this is not one of my aims. But I admire intellectual people.
I ‘ve never dropped anyone I believed in.
A career is wonderful, but you can’t curl up with it on a cold night.
My dinners at home are startingly simple. Every night, I stop at the market near my hotel and pick up a steak, lamp chops or some liver, which I broil in the electric oven in my room. I usually eat four or five raw carrots with my meat, and that is all. I must be part rabbit; I never get bored with raw carrots.
It’s not true I had nothing on, I had the radio on.
I like to feel blonde all over.
I want to be an artist, not…a celluloid aphrodisiac.
I’m very definitely a woman and I enjoy it.
The body is meant to be seen, not all covered up.
It is wonderful to have someone praise you, to be desired.
I am alone; I am always alone no matter what.
Fame is fickle, and I know it. It has its compensations but it also has its drawbacks, and I’ve experienced them both.
At twelve I looked like a girl of seventeen. My body was developed and shapely. I still wore the blue dress and the blouse the orphanage provided. They made me look like an overgrown lummox.
Next to my husband, and along with Marlon Brando, I think that Yves Montand is the most attractive man I’ve ever met.
Depending upon my activities, I sleep between five and ten hours every night. I sleep in an extra – wide single bed, and I use only one heavy down comforter over me, summer or winter. I have never been able to wear pajamas or creepy nightgowns; they disturb my sleep.
The trouble with censors is that they worry if a girl has cleavage. They ought to worry if she hasn’t any.
It’s often just enough to be with someone. I don’t need to touch them. Not even talk. A feeling passes between you both. You ‘re not alone.
Dreaming about being an actress, is more exciting then being one.
A sex symbol becomes a thing. I just hate to be a thing.
There is a need for aloneness, which I don’t think most people realise for an actor. It’s almost having certain kinds of secrets for yourself that you ‘ll let the whole world in on only for a moment, when you ‘re acting. But everybody is always tugging at you. They ‘d all like sort of a chunk of you.
It’s not too much fun to know yourself too well or think you do – everyone needs a little conceit to carry then through & past the falls.
Men who think that a woman’s past love affairs lessen her love for them are usually stupid and weak.
All my stepchildren carried the burden of my fame. Sometimes they would read terrible things about me, and I’d worry about whether it would hurt them. I would tell them: ‘Don’t hide these things from me. I’d rather you ask me these things straight out, and I’ll answer all your questions.’
If I’m a star, then the people made me a star.
I learned to walk as a baby, and I haven’t had a lesson since.
The nicest thing for me is sleep, then at least I can dream.
I am not a victim of emotional conflicts. I am human.
I wish I knew why I am so anguished.
Confidentally, the type of male I find most enjoyable for a friend is one who has enough fire and assurance to speak up for his convictions.
I am not a victim of emotional conflicts. I am human.
Before marriage, a girl hat to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.
I don’t want to make money, I just want to be wonderful.
I used to get the feeling, and sometimes I still get it, that sometimes I was fooling somebody; I don’t know who or what, maybe myself.
I love a natural look in pictures.
When I was 11, the whole world was closed to me. I just felt I was on the outside of the world.
I think that when you are famous every weakness is exaggerated.
I’ve always wanted a baby.
I don’t look at myself as a commodity, but I’m sure a lot of people have.
A man has a tendency to accept you the way you are, while most women immediately start to pick flaws and want to change you.
The ‘public’ scares me, but people I trust.
Husbands are chiefly good as lovers when they are betraying their wives.
I’ve always felt toward the slightest scene, even if all I had to do in a scene was just to come in and say, ‘hi’, that the people ought to get their money’s worth and that this is an obligation of mine, to give them the best you can get from me.
A man is more Frank and sincere with the emotions than a woman. We girls, I’m afraid, have a tendency to hide our feelings.
In hollywood a girl’s virtue is much less important than her hairdo.
When I was a youngster I lived with different families. I nearly always felt closer to the man of the house. Maybe because I always dreamed of having a father of my own.
An actor is supposed to be a sensitive instrument. Isaac Stern takes good care of his violin. What if everybody jumped on his violin?
Girdles and wire stays should have never been invented. No man wants to hug a padded bird cage.
I don’t digest things with my mind.
Why is it you always meet people when you look your worst?
I am involved in a freedom ride protesting the loss of the minority rights belonging to the few remaining earthbound stars. All we demanded was our right to twinkle.
If your man is a sports enthusiast, you may have to resign yourself to his spouting off in a monotone on a prize fight, football game or pennant race.
I have been told my eating habits are absolutely bizarre. But I don’t think so.
An actress is not a machine, but they treat you like a machine. A money machine.
What good am I? I can’t have kids. I can’t cook. I’ve been divorced three times. Who would want me?
For a long time I was scared I’d find out I was like my mother.
The thing I want more than anything else? I want to have children. I used to feel for every child I had, I would adopt another.
A woman can bring a new love to each man she loves, providing there are not too many.
I’ve often stood silent at a party for hours listening to my movie idols turn into dull and little people.
I read poetry to save time.
When I was five I think, that’s when I started wanting to be an actress.
When it comes to gossip, I have to readily admit men are as guilty as women.
Having a child, that’s always been my biggest fear. I want a child and I fear a child.
I often wake up in the night, and I like to have something to think about.
I’m one of the world’s most self-conscious people. I really have to struggle.
The public doesn’t mind people living together without being married, providing they don’t overdo it.
First, I’m trying to prove to myself that I’m a person. Then maybe I’ll convince myself that I’m an actress.
Fame may go by and – so long, I’ve had you.
The fact is that I find more most men are more open, more generous, and much more stimulating than the majority of females I know.
I enjoy acting when you really hit it right.
I want the world to see my body.
My public is growing up just as I am. After all, I’m not 19 anymore and if I stick with the sex bit, who will be paying to see me when I’m 50?
We human beings are strange creatures and still reserve the right to think for ourselves.
I’ll think I have a few wonderful friends and all of a sudden, ooh, here it comes. They do a lot of things. They talk about you to the press, to their friends, tell stories, and you know, it’s disappointing.
Men are so willing to respect anything that bores them.
I am invariably late for appointments – sometimes as much as two hours. I’ve tried to change my ways but the things that make me late are too strong, and too pleasing.
I guess I have always been deeply terrified to really be someone’s wife since I know from life one cannot love another, ever, really.
My work is the only ground I’ve ever had to stand on. To put it bluntly, I seem to have a whole superstructure with no foundation, but I’m working on the foundation.
I myself would like to become more disciplined within my work.
An actor is supposed to be a sensitive instrument.
In fact, my popularity seems almost entirely a masculine phenomenon.
Black men don’t like to be called ‘boys’, but women accept being called ‘girls’.
Arthur Miller wouldn’t have married me if I had been nothing but a dumb blonde.
I have noticed… that men usually leave married women alone and are inclined to treat all wives with respect. This is no great credit to married women.
Girls shouldn’t worry about being the equal of men in the business world.
I want to be an artist. An actress with integrity, and that includes all kinds of parts.
A woman can’t be alone. She needs a man. A man and a woman support and strenghten each other. She just can’t do it by herself.
I once wanted to prove myself by being a great actress. Now I want to prove that I’m a person. Then maybe I’ll be a great actress.
If I close my eyes and think of hollywood, all I see is one big varicose vein.
All the darkness in the world cannot extiguish the light of a single candle.
If a star or studio chief or any other great movie personages find themselves sitting among a lot of nobodies, they get frightened – as if somebody was trying to demote them.
When I was five, I think, that’s when I started wanting to be an actress. I loved to play. I didn’t like the world around me because it was kind of grim, but I loved to play house. It was like you could make your own boundaries.

 

Filmography of Marilyn Monroe

Year Film Role Director
1947 Dangerous Years Evie Arthur Pierson
1948 Scudda Hoo! Scudda Hay! Betty (uncredited) Hugh Herbert
1948 Ladies of the Chorus Peggy Martin Phil Karlson
1949 Love Happy Grunion’s Client (uncredited) David Miller
1950 A Ticket to Tomahawk Clara (uncredited) Richard Sale
1950 Right Cross Dusky Ledoux (uncredited) John Sturges
1950 The Fireball Polly Tay Garnett
1950 The Asphalt Jungle Angela Phinlay John Huston
1950 All About Eve Miss Claudia Caswell Joseph L. Mankiewicz
1951 Love Nest Roberta Stevens Joseph M. Newman
1951 Let’s Make It Legal Joyce Mannering Richard Sale
1951 Home Town Story Iris Martin Arthur Pierson
1951 As Young as You Feel Harriet Harman Jones
1952 O. Henry’s Full House Streetwalker Henry Koster
1952 Monkey Business Lois Laurel Howard Hawks
1952 Clash by Night Peggy Fritz Lang
1952 We’re Not Married! Anabel Norris Edmund Goulding
1952 Don’t Bother to Knock Nell Forbes Roy Baker
1953 Niagara Rose Loomis Henry Hathaway
1953 Gentlemen Prefer Blondes Lorelei Lee Howard Hawks
1953 How to Marry a Millionaire Pola Debevoise Jean Negulesco
1954 River of No Return Kay Weston Otto Preminger
1954 There’s No Business Like Show Business Vicky Walter Lang
1955 The Seven Year Itch The Girl Billy Wilder
1956 Bus Stop Chérie Joshua Logan
1957 The Prince and the Showgirl Elsie Marina Laurence Olivier
1959 Some Like It Hot Sugar Kane Kowalczyk Billy Wilder
1960 Let’s Make Love Amanda Dell George Cukor
1961 The Misfits Roslyn Taber John Huston
1962 Something’s Got to Give (unfinished) Ellen Wagstaff Arden George Cukor

 

Awards and nominations of Marilyn Monroe

  • 1951 Henrietta Awards: The Best Young Box Office Personality
  • 1952 Photoplay Award: Fastest Rising Star of 1952
  • 1952 Photoplay Award: Special Award
  • 1952 Look American Magazine Achievement Award: Most Promising Female Newcomer of 1952
  • 1953 Golden Globe Henrietta Award: World Film Favorite Female.
  • 1953 Sweetheart of The Month (Playboy)
  • 1953 Photoplay Award: Most Popular Female Star
  • 1954 Photoplay Award for Best Actress: for Gentlemen Prefer Blondesand How to Marry a Millionaire
  • 1956 BAFTAFilm Award nomination: Best Foreign Actress for The Seven Year Itch
  • 1956 Golden Globe nomination: Best Motion Picture Actress in Comedy or Musical for Bus Stop
  • 1958 BAFTA Film Award nomination: Best Foreign Actress for The Prince and the Showgirl
  • 1958 David di Donatello Award (Italian): Best Foreign Actress for The Prince and the Showgirl
  • 1959 Crystal Star Award (French): Best Foreign Actress for The Prince and the Showgirl
  • 1960 Golden Globe, Best Motion Picture Actress in Comedy or Musical for Some Like It Hot
  • 1962 Golden Globe, World Film Favorite: Female
  • Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame 6104 Hollywood Blvd.
  • 1999 she was ranked as the sixth greatest female star of all time by the American Film Institute in their list AFI’s 100 Years… 100 Stars.

 

Awards and Achievements of Marilyn Monroe

 

Awards and achievements
Preceded by
Rosalind Russell
for Auntie Mame
Golden Globe Award for Best Actress – Motion Picture Musical or Comedy
for Some Like It Hot

1960
Succeeded by
Shirley MacLaine
for The Apartment

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Usain Bolt said (Quotes 03)			No ratings yet.

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When people see your pesonality come out, theyy feel so good, like they actually know who you are.

(Usain Bolt said)

CATEGORY:  PERSONALITY QUOTES
SAID BY:  USAIN BOLT
PERSON:  USAIN BOLT
OCCUPATION:  ATHLETE

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Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.

(Bruce Lee said)

CATEGORY:  PERSONALITY QUOTES
SAID BY:  BRUCE LEE
PERSON:  BRUCE LEE
OCCUPATION:  ACTOR

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Personality and body language			No ratings yet.

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“Personality is an unbroken series of successful gestures” (F. Scott Fitzgerald)

Among our ancestors, those who paid attention to people and understood how they functioned could better navigate their social world. These talented observers of people were a little bit better at predicting who would make a good ally, who to dig a well with, who would be a good mate, and who to avoid whenever possible.

Body Language: A truly powerful concept that seems to contribute to a successful understanding of the personality of people around us. This, of course, applies only if the observer can decode the signals and the attitude of the body properly, matching them up with the things that are said, the time, the age, the gender, and the background of each individual.

Body language: A language that is different from all the other languages. It’s a language with no words. It’s a magical way of expression! It’s an ability to read the mood and thoughts of others. It’s a type of communication between people without the slightest use of speech…

Learn how to “read” other people without these people saying any words. Get to know the people around you better and, then, observe them carefully.  These people have a lot of things to say without even talking. Further below, you will be able to understand body language better so that you can draw conclusions about opinions, wills, beliefs and the ultimate personality of the people around you.

 

How we communicate with others?

 

Being able to communicate effectively is the most important of all life skills. Developing your communication skills can help all aspects of your life, from your professional life to social gatherings and everything in between. The ability to communicate information accurately, clearly and as intended, is a vital life skill and something that should not be overlooked. It’s never too late to work on your communication skills and by doing so improve your quality of life.

However, what is communication?

Communication an essential element of life, not only for the human being but also for other beings on the planet. Without communication, it is not possible to survive on the earth. It is important that communication is perceived in various forms and levels. Communication is the act of expressing (or transmitting) ideas, information, knowledge, thoughts, and feelings, as well as understanding what is expressed by others. The communication process involves both sending and receiving messages and can take many forms. The two most important types of communication are:

  • Verbal communication;
  • Non-verbal communication

 

“You cant photoshop personality” (Unknown said)

What is verbal communication?

 

Verbal communication encompasses any form of communication involving words, spoken, written or signed. The conversation we have with our coworker at lunch, the morning news or the sports page we read in the morning – even the text message you send to your spouse telling him to pick up some milk is a form of verbal communication. Our ability to communicate with a language that is based on an organized system of words, rather than merely sounds, is what sets us apart from lower species. Not only do we have language, but we also have the technology that enables us to communicate with one another no matter the physical distance.

When asking “what is the most powerful form of communication among people”, the answer that prevails is usually: “the verbal form of communication The majority of people still believe that the individuals express themselves and communicate better through words and through speech. From the very first years of his life, the individual learns how to communicate through the verbal form of communication, through speech, in order to be able to survive in a society and be a member of this society. Through the acoustic form of communication, thoughts, views and ideas are conveyed in order to transpose a concept with its main characteristic, the speech.

However, let’s not forget that things are not always as they look. Many times people respond with “yes”, but they actually mean “no”. They say “it does not matter”, but deep inside they have been hurt. Is it possible to perceive this false answer? Can an individual understand if words coincide with thoughts?

We all have perceived at some point in our lives that people say things they do not believe and they do not feel. They hide behind their words and sayings, they project a personality which is not their real self either to deceive other people and protect themselves, or to impress, and, most of the time, to convince other people.

Ιs there, though, a way to discover the truth about the personality of people around us? Can we understand when a person is lying, is feeling uncomfortable, is introverted, or is hiding something from us?

Lisa Prosen once said, “If you want to know what one’s hiding in his mind, pay attention to his words and sayings. If you want to know what he is hiding in his heart, watch his moves.” What does she mean by saying that?

So, we use verbal communication to inform, whether it is to inform others of our needs or to impart knowledge. Verbal communication helps to clarify misunderstandings and provides missing information. We can use verbal communication to correct a mistake, something that was said or done. The power of the words, “I’m sorry,” is often more effective than an action. Verbal communication can also be used as a tool of persuasion. It creates an opportunity for debate, stimulates thought and creativity, and deepens and creates new relationships.

Robert M. Krauss in the article, “The Psychology of Verbal Communication,” published in the International Encyclopedia of the Social and Behavioral Sciences in 2002, explains, “A species’ survival depends critically upon its ability to communicate effectively, and the quality of its social life is determined in large measure by how and what it can communicate.”

“No one can know for sure what you think, but see what you do” (Menandros)

 

Nonverbal form of communication

The answer may probably be found only in the nonverbal form of communication. More elements and factors are probably required in order to discover an individual’s personality. If the lie may be expressed through words, then, the truth may be hidden in the movement, in the way of visual contact, in the attitude of the body or even in the tone of the voice.

Thus, the secret that will lead to the assessment of each personality is the understanding of some automatic bodily features during interaction with other people in order to collect useful information before they even open their mouth to speak. These automated features are part of the nonverbal communication code.

Therefore, we communicate with much more than words: when we interact with someone, our body has a language of its own. The way we sit, the gestures we make, the way we talk, how much eye contact we make – all of these are non-verbal ways of communicating that impact the messages our words are sending.

What exactly does that mean? In simple words: “learn to listen through your eyes!”

Edward G. Wertheim, Ph.D., in his paper, “The Importance of Effective Communication,” details how nonverbal communication interacts with verbal communication. We can reinforce, contradict, substitute, complement or emphasize our verbal communication with nonverbal cues such as gestures, expressions and vocal inflection. Avoiding eye contact when we tell someone something communicates something far different than do spoken words, just as a bright smile when we say congratulations reinforces the sincerity of our words.

 

“An ugly personality destroys a pretty face.” (Unknown said)

 

Body Language

What is Body Language?

Body Language: It’s “speaking through my body”.  This term has much more features than the terms we originally thought there were. All of us have been found in moments in which we believed other things, we wanted other things and we finally said other things. We act this way in order to hide, or not to hurt other people, or because we have put our desires or wishes after other people’s desires or wishes. In this case, we refer to nonverbal ways of communication and that is what we mean by referring to messages sent without the use of written and spoken language

Nonverbal communication and body language include the following:

  • the facial expressions;
  • the physical contact;
  • the body posture, and
  • the tone of voice.

So, put simply, body language is the unspoken element of communication that we use to reveal our true feelings and emotions; by body language we refer to our gestures, our facial expressions our tone of voice and our posture, for instance. When we are able to “read” these signs, we can use it to our advantage. For example, it can help us to understand the complete message of what someone is trying to say to us, and to enhance our awareness of people’s reactions to what we say and do. We can also use it to adjust our own body language so that we appear more positive, engaging and approachable.

 

The facial expressions

 

Facial expressions are believed to reveal a person’s current emotion and motives. According to folklore, the eyes are ‘‘a window to the soul’’ or a ‘‘mirror of the soul’’. The eye expressions may be influenced by a smiling or an angry or a sad mouth. Thus, they can reveal any secret.

A wide, toothy smile, where all the facial muscles, including those of the eyes, are in tension, reveal a joyful, extrovert and positive personality.

A steady gaze reflects a confident, poised, authentic individual, who is not shy or introverted, who has nothing to hide; it reflects an individual who receptive and open to human contact.

 

The physical contact

 

A step towards people we talk to, a hug, a hand shaking reveal a generous, cheerful individual, a person with a firm and strong personality.

A specific distance from your interlocutors during a meeting may show respect, but it may be a threat as well. In fact, according to research, the closer and more comfortable you feel to a person, the more your body movements look alike.

The body posture

 

An upright posture, unbent shoulders, relaxed arms and legs may show an outgoing, confident personality; however, arms crossed and a drooping posture may be a signal of defensiveness and resistance and are a sign of discomfort, insecurity and weakness.

As in the animal world, in the nature of human beings, there are certain gestures which are typical for indicating a sexual interest or attraction.

An individual who has something to hide is uncertain and cautious. Hands to the forehead, or on the lips, or covering the mouth may be indicative that this individual has something to hide as these gestures show that what has been said is a lie as touching the mouth is associated with deception and fear that the truth may be revealed. The individual does not have an upright posture, changing his or her position quickly and all the time, having his or her head retracted or jerked back or bowed down or cocked or titled to the side, and distracts the attention of the person he or she is talking to from the truth. He or she puts his or her hands behind this or her back or in the pockets in order to avoid revealing his stress and anxiety.

 

The tone of voice

The messages that you send with your voice are known as paralanguage. Often it is not what you say but how you say it that determines an interaction’s outcome.

The tone of your voice can help you communicate what you mean to convey, or it can reveal thoughts you mean to conceal. It can reinforce or negate the words you speak. The sound of your voice communicates, revealing to others your emotional state, attitudes, personality, status, and interaction maintenance, or turn-taking, needs. How you speak influences how others interpret your intentions, as well as how credible, intelligent, or attractive they judge you to be.

Thus, the main features of the voice are:

  • the tone of voice and the voice quality;
  • the volume of the voice (the power of your voice, its loudness or volume);
  • the rhythm of the voice;
  • the pauses as the individual speaks;
  • speech speed;
  • the pitch (the highness or lowness of the voice); and
  • the breaths this individual takes as he or she speaks.

Depending on the individual’s state of mind and psychological state, these features may change. So, for example, someone who has something to hide has a higher volume, he or she speaks quickly; his or her breathing is slower and he or she makes many pauses. An individual who is typically loud may alienate others; such a person is often viewed as overbearing, nervous or aggressive. In contrast, if you are soft-spoken, others may interpret your behaviour as timid or they may think that we have something to hide from them. In addition, typically, we increase volume to stress particular words and ideas and to reflect the intensity of our emotions. Similarly, a sudden decrease in volume can add suspense or sustain another’s attention. So, we should point out that volume that is varied is most effective. As for the rate of the speech, in many ways, rate reflects the pulse of your words. It quickens to indicate agitation, excitement, and happiness, and it falls to convey seriousness, serenity, or sadness. In addition to slowing or increasing the rate of speech and emphasizing key ideas, brief periods of silence or pauses give us a chance to gather our thoughts.

In other words, we should point out that nonverbal or para-verbal communication can be deciphered by paying more attention to the following voice features:

  1. the tone of voice: increasing tones express a dose of safety while decreasing inflections show insecurity;
  2. the pauses between words and phrases: both transmit clues about the speaker’s intentions and attitudes;
  3. the speech speed may be slow or fast; it is worth saying that a fast paced speech may show that the speaker is unsure and He or she knows what he or she wants to say but he or she’s talking fast because he or she wants to get rid of the words as he or she does not feel comfortable when speaking. While an average pace expressessafety, the speaker knows that what has to say is just as important to everyone as it is for him or her. A slow pace is not desirable because it gives the impression of low intelligence as well;
  4. the voice volume shows speakers’ authority, the individual’s power of persuasion and the ability to be listened to; and
  5. other sounds (onomatopoeia, moan, scream, grunt, sigh, laugh) are designed to complement the verbal message where moods are too strong or words are lacking for the moment.

 

At this point, we should consider the social environment and the background; It is quite common that the tone of voice differs between people of different cultures.

 

“Appearances make impressions but it is the personality that makes an impact.” (Unknown said)

 

Research carried out on body language and personality

 

For more than 75 years psychologists have studied how subtle nonverbal cues might reveal your personality. In 1933, the well-known psychologist Gordon Allport and the author Phillip Vernon contended that there was consistency in people’s expressive behaviour, and that from these nonverbal cues, personality could be discerned. However, in their research, they pointed out that this does not apply to all expressive movements, but for some it simply gives a sample of the direction of the personality.

For example, while the main features of extroversion/introversion can be accurately distinguished through nonverbal behaviour, at the levels of stereotypes and biases, personality is not so obvious, but, after a long-term observation, we get certain elements of this personality. In addition, some people show expansive movements, such as gesturing wildly, while others are more restricted and closed-off. This might suggest differences between extroverts (who are expansive and outgoing) and introverts ( who tend to “keep to themselves”).

According to Dr. Albert Mehrabian’s research (1960) which has been carried out at the University of Los Angeles as well as according to the communication spectalist’s, Mr. Thanassis Papamichail, research (2009), the meaning of a message is communicated by:

  • Your words 7% (verbal communication),
  • Your tone of voice 38%, and
  • Your body language 55%.

That means that the numbers represent the percentages of importance that varying communication channels have. The belief is that 55% of communication is body language, 38% is the tone of voice, and 7% is the actual words spoken.

This statistic is, of course, just a sample and it certainly does not cover the whole range of cases. Thus, in the example of a liar, research has revealed that not only body language is sufficient to identify the liar, but it always stands in tune with both the tone of voice and the verbal communication. Usually, the liar speaks to a high and unstable tone of voice, he is not accurate as he talks to others and he repeats his sayings in order to convince. So, the conclusion was that nonverbal communication stands for 93% of all communication.

 

“Your body communicates as well as your mouth. Don’t contradict yourself.” (Allen Ruddock said)

 

It is therefore concluded that that understanding the body language is not always an easy task as it requires practice, accurate observation, concurrence of various signals emitted by the body, experience and usually long-term verification of the conclusions.

According to the American psychologist Paul Ekman and the psychologist Michael Argyle who deal with the different aspect of body language, nonverbal communications is a kind of language. In fact, they pointy out “We cannot interpret an individual gesture or a movement, unless we do that in concurrence with the general context and the other expressions of verbal and nonverbal communication. Usually the concurrence of the four aspects of communication is necessary. A movement can happen accidentally. A second one can make us be suspicious. But if we encounter four movements that concur, the margin of error is eliminated as the random case of consecutive coincidences.”

Have you ever thought how much time we talk on a daily basis and if this issue makes us think that body language is stronger than verbal communication? The anthropologist Ray L. Birdwhistell was an expert in kinesics, the part of nonverbal communication that deals with postures of the body and movements of various parts of the body that play a role in communicating, particularly while people are speaking. Anthropologist He concluded that the average person speaks words for a total of about 10-11 minutes per day and he also estimated that the average sentence takes 2.5 seconds. In addition, he found out that the verbal component of a face-to-face conversation is less than 35% and that over 65% of communication is done nonverbally.. Birdwhistell also estimated we can make and recognize around 250,000 facial expressions.

According to research that has been carried out, women use an innate ability that uses 14-16 parts of the brain, the so-called “women’s intuition”.  So, women are far more perceptive than men, and this has given rise to what is commonly referred to as “women’s intuition.” Women have an innate ability to pick up and decipher nonverbal signals, as well as having an accurate eye for small details. This ability is particularly evident in women who have raised children, especially during the first years when they have to communicate with their children through nonverbal speech by developing this ability. On the contrary, men have only 4-6 parts of the brain that are developed.

Nevertheless, that does not mean that someone cannot be more vigilant and observant and be able to understand the person he or she is talking to, since body language is universal. There are specific movements, expressions and postures of the body that are representative of some aspects of an individual’s personality.

 

“Body language is more powerful than words.” (Ricky Gervais said)

 

There are some rules, below, that are essential and necessary in order to read and understand each individual’s body language and personality.

  • The significance of a number of movements is mainly determined by the different cultures;
  • The interpretation of the different movements should be made in concurrence with other expressions as well as with the given living conditions;
  • Body language functions just like all the other languages,
    • using words, sentences and punctuation,
    • while each movement corresponds to a word that may have different meanings/interpretations
  • Body language is always compared with the verbal communication,
  • Body language may help
    • At the professional level, since research shows that most of communication consist of body language and the effectiveness of professional life depends on how a person communicates through his or her body language,
    • At the personal level, since it can give away an enormous amount of information about a situation a person may be in and just from the way you stand or more obviously your facial expression people can tell how you are feeling and what you may be thinking,
    • In everyday human contact,
    • In order to express stronger feelings or emphasize what you have just said or you are saying,
    • In order to understand the people you are talking to or those who are talking to you.

“Women’s body language speaks eloquently, through silently, of her subordinate status in a hierarchy of gender.” (Sandra Bartky said)

 

What does your body language say about your personality?

 

As already mentioned, our body language can say a lot about our attitude, feelings, and character.

Here is an indicative list of the most obvious and clear features corresponding to specific personalities:

 

SEX FEATURES PERSONALITY
Women/men Stomach pulled in tight, chest stuck out, straight back, head held high, shoulders pulled back Poised, self-confident, sense of power, sense of excellence
Women/men Fetal position, closed posture, head pointing down Lacking self-confidence, insecure, defensive, vulnerable, feel intimidated, feel threatened
Women/men Head pointing down, shoulders hunched Feeling rushed, feeling bowed down, oppressed
Women/men Back bent forward and a weak or concave chest Lack of self-identity, shyness, emotional timidity, introversion; this posture indicates a depressed, disappointed, sad or helpless attitude
Women Curled up body, chest pulled back/withdrawn, arms crossed in order to cover the body, folded legs Feeling insecure as regards your body
Women/men Walk in a self-confident manner; bouncy walk Poised, self-confident, sense of power, sense of excellence
Men/women Chest and abdomen exposed Cool, easy-going, unreserved people; people who are themselves; people who have nothing to hide; sincere people
Women/men Open legs, not crossed Receptive attitude or bossy/domineering attitude
Women/men Closed and crossed legs Reticence; reserve; uncertainty; ambivalence
Women/men Fists clenched in front of the body Reserved people; anxious people; negative attitude
Women/men Arms outstretched with the palms facing downwards Certainty
Women/men Arms outstretched with the palms facing upwards Sincere people
Women/men Arms and palms behind the back, in the pockets, etc, touching the nose, rubbing the eye People who hide something; people who lie
Women/men Arms crossed on chest Putting a  barrier, blocking others out; defensive attitude;  Effort to protect yourself;  retaliation; indifference; uncertainty;  nervousness, anxiety;  feeling cold; closing yourself off defensively; blocking any channel of communication
Women/men Sitting with your hands behind your head Being cool, self-confident; people who feel superior or overconfident; feeling dominant, superior and confident; a signal of satisfaction at a job well done
Women/men person having his hands behind his head with elbows spread out Feeling relaxed; feeling superior; winner’s attitude; feeling justified; feeling liberated
Women/men person sitting and the index finger points vertically up the cheek, another finger is in front of the mouth and the thumb supports the chin having negative or critical thoughts about the speaker or his subject; feeling hostility, aggression, dislike, disapproval
Women/men Person standing and resting his hands on the waist or on the hips aggression; controlling attitude; nervousness, anxiety; irritation, annoyance; Irony;  Feeling successful but also feeling relaxed
Men Person standing in a straight posture; the hands are in the pockets and the thumbs are visible, over the genitals.

 

the visible thumbs indicate dominance and sovereignty. This gesture is a common sign that someone feels comfortable. It may also indicate low status, if the thumb disappears in the pocket. Gestures showing a low status should be to be avoided – especially by persons in executive positions. physical desire, sexual attraction
Women/men Standing in a straight posture; head high; arms behind the back self-confidence; strength
Women Sitting; arms and legs crossed nervousness; defensive attitude; humbleness, modesty
Women/men wrinkles/crow’s feet; upward pressure on the cheeks; the muscles around the eyes are contracted and the lip corners are pulled up feeling glad; feeling happy
Women/men Eyebrows raised, eyes wide open, open mouth the person is surprised; the more the surprise, the higher the eyebrows are raised. Raising eyebrows may be a submissive move or indicate openness. Raising a single eyebrow may show arrogance, irony, cynicism or even that a person is puzzled.
Women/men Frowned person with raised eyebrows; upper eyelids raised; lower eyelids tight retracted; lips retracted fear; embarrassment, awkwardness.
Women/men Lowered eyebrows of a frowned person;  Angry look in the eyes; lips turned down sad, distressed, upset, unhappy; sign of being defeated and weak
Women/men One half of the upper lip tightens upward (known as a smirk); neutral eyes with one side of the lip turned up and pulled back (almost like a half-smile) contempt
Women/men Neck scratch and collar pull a sign of lying, discomfort; not feeling comfortable
Women/men Head pointing down, while simultaneously twisting the head to the right side Being shy; being embarrassed; being puzzled
Women/men Eye pupils dilated; wide opened dilated eyes Positive and receptive attitude; being attracted by someone or something; approving something
Women/men Eye pupils contracted Rejection; resentment, disapproval
Women/men Keeping your distance from the person you are talking to, stepping back when someone gets closer Being reserved; being introverted; this person needs space
Women/men Moving arms, legs and body Anxiety; unease; stress; uncertainty
Women/men Arms crossed defensive attitude
Women/men Raising eyebrows emphasizing your sayings
Women/men Moving your hands with palms facing down fear of being verbally attacked
Women/men Intensity in tone of voice; steady tone of voice; normal rhythm of voice sensitive people; emotional people
Women/men Hands put somewhere seeking for reassurance, stability
Women/men Hands being clenched in a fist committed, strong-willed, determined, confident people
Women/men Eyes blinking fast uncertainty, nervousness and stress
Women/men Thumb and index finger together while other fingers bent in the palm emphasis on precision and detail
Women/men Open gestures, torso exposed honest, plain-dealing, sincere and approachable people
Women/men Shy smile, downcast eyes, moving hair behind the ears shy or flattered people
Women/men Hands on the hips, open legs motivated, assertive, determined, self-confident people
Women/men Nervous movements embarrassment, nervousness, anxiety
Γυναίκες/ Άντρες Raising the arms or pushing out the torso; Popping the chin up; jutting the chin out triumph expressions: expansion,  winning and dominance; arrogance
Women/men Right hand holding the head. boredom; lack of interest
Women/men Right hand holding the head with the index finger in front of the mouth: a closed hand is resting on the cheek, often with the index finger pointing upwards. it’s a “being interested” gesture; interested evaluation is also shown by this gesture too
Women/men Raising the shoulders, eyebrows going up briefly and open palms there is nothing to hide, they know nothing, they give in; submissive gestures
Women/men Firm handshake a firm handshake shows confidence and strength; it indicates that you are interested in building rapport with a person
Women/men Open palm submission, honesty, saying the truth, showing that you agree with the sayings or the actions of others
Women/men Palm turned downwards gesture showing power; hierarchy
Women/men Hand holding or hand shaking where you offer your hand with the palm facing upwards and the first person’s palm is facing downwards the palm down thrust is certainly the most aggressive handshake or handholding style as it gives the receiver the little chance of establishing an equal relationship.
Γυναίκες/ Άντρες Hand holding or hand shaking where the receiver’s  palm is facing upwards the palm up gesture is used to show submission to others to offer your hand with the palm facing upwards. This is particularly effective when you want to give the other person control or allow him to feel that he is in command of the situation.
Women/men The palm in a fist and the index finger threat, attack, negative feelings
  Pulling the right side cheek and lip upwards. liars
  Tight-lipped smile[1] this smile is not so much used by liars as by people who have secrets or are withholding their true opinion or attitude towards something.
  Distorted or uneven smile; lop-sided smile type of smile that can be displayed only deliberately; the smile shows opposite emotions on each side of the face; it shows sarcasm too
  Smirk; head bent and turned towards another direction, gaze raised playful, sneaky, cunning people
  Crossed hands clenched in fists hostile, aggressive attitude
  Rubbing hands together sign of positive expectation
Women Both hands touching the chin and the palms are facing downwards Showing the face
  Showing the thumb, while the rest of the hand is in the pockets Self-confidence, bossiness
  Stroking the chin a signal that the person is thinking hard. They may well be judging or evaluating something, particularly if the conversation has offered them a choice or decision to make.

 

Body language over the years

 

Body language is not a recent scientific phenomenon. Ancient Greek philosophers, such as Aristotle, Plato, Thalis, Socrates, and others were trying to stand up at a point with their hands covered under their tunics so they did not give body signals to their audience because they believed that the more physical movement a man had, and the stronger they talked with their bodies, the more “poor” their vocabulary and the less convincing they were. Philosophers and scientists have connected human physical behaviour with mood and personality for thousands of years, but only in living memory has the study of body language become as sophisticated and detailed as it is today. Hippocrates and Aristotle considered the aspects of body language probably through their interest in human personality and behaviour and Cicero related gestures to feelings and communications. Francis Bacon (1605) explored gestures as a reflection or extension of spoken communications. Darwin could be regarded as the earliest expert to have made serious scientific observation about body language.

Let us not forget that, from the day of the individual’s birth, the first means of communication that man uses is his body. Later on, the individual learns the use of speech and, depending on the vocabulary’s breadth and clarity, the individual uses the body language accordingly. In simple terms, the clearer the reason is, the less the need for expression through the body becomes. It is certain, however, that it is impossible to completely part with it. This means that body language has always existed and is necessary for the expression of mood and thoughts.

….

If we go back in time, we will find out that the human being began using speech about 2,000,000 and 500,000 years ago. Before that, body language was the main way of communicating and expressing emotions. It is worth pointing out that body language has been perceived relatively recently, in the 1960s. However, the reason why it has not been so intensively studied is because the individual focuses more on verbal communication. The researchers have noticed that individuals form an opinion about another individual much before this person even speaks to them.

Charles Darwin’s book “The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals”, 114 years ago, and Albert Mehrabian’s work, in 1971, have been highly influential for research on emotions and emotion expression and researchers throughout the world have discovered and recorded more than 1.000.000 non-verbal means of communication, referring to  more than 1.000.000 body language signs.

“We are what we seem to be, not what we are saying” (Darwin said)

 

Body language at work

 

Too many people underestimate the value of body language in business. This is a big mistake. First impressions absolutely matter, and by being mindful of the right body language, you can make the right gestures and movements that will help you get any meeting or interview off to a positive start. Although verbal communication helps to get things done in the world of work, you should not forget the importance of nonverbal communication and the way body language can help lay the foundation for you to deliver a specific message or statement of intent. Whenever you meet potential customers or employers for the first time, it can be all too easy to focus firmly on what’s coming out of your mouth. It’s not uncommon to use all your mental energy to concentrate on adequately conveying your words, but what’s also really important is to think simultaneously about what your body is doing. Body language is the most reliable source of human communication and the most reliable tool in order to understand personality, especially in the field of marketing, where the main goal is the promotion and sale of products. As mentioned by Ribbens & Thompson, (2001) The importance of body language in management has not been appreciated as it should have been. The reasons for both the success and the failure of managers should be sought in the latent world of non-verbal communication.”

It is said that, these days, politicians may understand the importance of body language and that this particular field of work is based mainly on image and movement, always accompanied by speech. So, politicians need to know how to expertly speak in two languages — verbal language and body language. For aspiring politicians, knowing how to engage and reach the masses with their ideas and beliefs is essential. But knowing what to say is just as important as how to say it. For this reason, great politicians use personal body language advisors in order to use all the components of communication properly.

In advertising or in theatrical shows, the actor has to use body language properly in order to be convincing, realistic-looking as well as to lure the audience into the atmosphere of the play.

In general, body language plays an important role in the workplace, because it determines success or failure at the communication level. Body language plays a significant role in interrogations. The interrogator violates the intimate zone of the accused by pressing him to confess. Depending on the personality of the suspect, the suspect tells the truth sooner or later.

Having the things we referred to earlier in mind, let’s look at some of the simple, yet highly effective body language techniques, you can adopt to build immediate rapport with individuals and groups of people at work without even having to open your mouth:

  • Focus on your posture

Before you sit down to talk business or your future career with an individual or group of people, the first thing they will recognize is the way you carry yourself. Your posture is very important in terms of demonstrating confidence. Make sure you stand up straight–no slouching!–with your shoulders back and chest out. A forthright, positive posture will also put you in the right frame of mind when it comes to what you say.

  • What about smiling?

Your facial expression can also help to set the tone of any business meeting. In order to make a counterpart or colleague feel at ease and in order to establish an immediate rapport with other, you should smile, gain the respect of others, and create that positive environment for discussion.

  • Another useful body language tip is to “study” carefully the facial expressions of others and mirror these expressions. If they are laid-back and jovial, behave likewise and you’ll feel able to relax and enjoy your meeting. If they are serious and want to focus on the matter at hand, keep the same attitude.
  • What about the value of eye contact?

Once you’ve worked on your posture and smile, it’s then important to keep a keen eye on what your counterparts or colleagues are saying verbally. Have a direct eye contact when you talk to him or her as this suggests you’re giving them your full attention and that you care. However, if you work within an industry that requires you to regularly venture overseas, it’s highly recommended that you brush up on the role body language plays in business traditions around the globe. For instance, you may not be aware that while regular eye contact is viewed positively in North America and Canada, in the Middle East, eye contact is only viewed as a symbol of sincerity and trust between those of the same gender.

“Language is a more recent technology. Your body language, your eyes, your energy, will come through to your audience before you even start speaking.” (Peter Guber said)

 

Can we influence body language?

 

The truth is that there have been many studies on this question with significant findings. As already mentioned, from the day of the individual’s birth, the first means of communication that man uses is his body and body language is an integral part of the individual’s existence Not only does it help in communication, but it reflects the inner being of the individual. We could say that body language is an inherent / hereditary phenomenon, but that’s not the only thing.

People who deal with this non-verbal mode of communication report that they cannot change what their body reveals about them unless they change it in a considered way. This requires, of course, a lot of practice, a process that one is not willing to proceed into. Besides, as successful as an individual who manages to use body language is, he or she cannot attain 100% efficiency in using body language to the fullest. This is because subconscious movements are increasingly coming to the surface, so, in this case the individual will not be able to fully control the situation.

 

“Of all the things you wear, the expression is the most important.” (Unknown said)

 

Personality is complex, just like the non-verbal communication. Moreover, body language is not a language in an ordinary sense; it can help us identify the mood of the individual but not the individual’s character and the character’s features.

To sum up with,

Body language

  • is connected to the individual’s personality;
  • is a mode of expression;
  • is a form of communication;
  • is real and may reveal things that the individual does not want to share with others;
  • is expressed by the subconscious;
  • cannot disappear from the individual’s entirety;
  • conveys emotions;
  • is the main mode of communication among people;
  • may be influenced;
  • takes four signs in order to be timely and reliable;
  • may have different interpretations in other languages, but…
  • … it is, in general terms, identifiable throughout the world;
  • must be read in the context of the situation;
  • is inherent but it can be taught as well.

 

“Effective communication is 20% what you know, and 80% how you feel about what you know.” (Jim Rohn said)

 

Understanding body language is not easy; on the contrary, it’s a difficult, strange, but also interesting science. By becoming familiar with basic non-verbal signs, it is possible to improve body language understanding, in order to better understand the emotions, the thoughts of others around us, as well as our emotions and thoughts. With time, effort and dedication, you can also “study” the personality of others and you will be able to understand if the other person is a shy, extrovert, distressed, or a self-confident individual!

Let’s not forget that the main features of our personality are conveyed through our body posture! Moreover, when we refer to instinct, we might mean that we know how to interpret body language. Besides, the eyes are the mirror of our soul!

Furthermore, you will have the opportunity to learn more about the concept of personality, the factors that influence it and the types of personalities so that you can rank yourself in one or more of them. In this way, you will have compiled all the information that is necessary so that you can better learn about others around you as well as about your own self.

Who are we really? Are we really who we think we are? Why are we what we are? Can we change who we are? So, learn yourself better and use this knowledge in order to have a better and more positive and advantageous life. This information is the key to understanding behaviors and, eventually, to the importance of personality formation and development.

If you want to know what personality category you are classified in, follow the link below and do the personality test

 

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