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“I love my husband like my sibling”

We all know that relationships between people are very complicated. As beautiful things seems to appear in a relationship, sometimes peace and love are not enough to keep two people together- a widespread reality, especially within marriage and family. We can all imagine that sexual contacts, during a long-lasting relationship, gradually diminish with the passage of time. But there are less people who seem to know that relations without or with little sexual attraction are nowadays a widespread reality. Actually, the real dimension of the problem is usually not recognized. Discussions about sex among friends are widespread. Although we live in a society that people openly talk about sex topics, it is so difficult to talk about the lack of sexual attraction.

Researches have shown that love attraction isn’t a spontaneous feeling that comes out from the heart. In fact, however, it is the brain, which makes a lot of calculations and is responsible for determining the attraction. The fact that these calculations take place in the brain does not mean that all these feelings are only on the head. In fact, all five senses play their own role when you meet a person you like. It’s something like when people talk about the “chemistry” between people.

Couples without sex

On the other hand, Surveys have shown that many couples are kept together without having sex. But is this healthy for their relationship? And how long it will be alright?

Some people openly admit that their relationship faces many problems and would like to divorce, but for various reasons they consciously choose to continue their common situation. Some others find consolation in third persons, without separating with their partners, because through the relationship they retain things they consider very important. The meaning of being “together“, is actually very significant.

There are also couples who claim that there is no other problem in their relationship than the sexual one. Does this apply? Not exactly.

Psychologists have found that unwillingness of having erotic contacts with our partner is usually a symptom of some other interpersonal dysfunctions. “When our mouth is not spoken, our body will do it, and the body does not lie easily. If you do not feel good, you will lose your sexual attraction to your partner!”

Solution to your problem

Perhaps the solution is much simpler than we imagine. An effort to find the root of the problem would drastically help find a way to restore sexual attraction. The point is that neither of us should be enough to give yourself the stereotypical answer that the time has passed and boredom has come. Also, keep in mind that the routine and boredom are not enough to justify the lack of sex. In fact, boredom is often a safe mask behind which disappointments and anger are hidden.

Well, open your mouth and talk about it with your partner. Don’t waste your time. Open the ways of communication, tell your partner how you feel about the situation, without accusing him of what is happening. Try to get closer to each other mentally and to understand one another. Don’t forget! Attraction is the big X Factor in any relationship. When you have it, you don’t think about it. When not, it’s hard to overcome, but that shouldn’t mean that you have to break up with your partner. Do not let everyday life and routine affect you. Don’t forget that a relationship is more than love and sex. It is the understanding, the trust and the consolation. If you have all this, it is not difficult to find sexual attraction again. But, make sure that you are first ok with yourself and then with your partner.

An article you may like: “Sexual inconvenience- what’s wrong with me?”